Here we are in 2021, and our world has had its challenges (to say the least), and we are all facing our own personal challenges too! And yet, it’s also a great time for choices, and choices that we all can make. We have the choice to be in relationships, to become a parent, to work, to learn, to expand our interests. It’s all right there, right in front of us, we just need to take that step towards whatever it is for us, it really is an amazing time, a time like none other before, right?
When I reflected on the women who have influenced me greatly, I realized that I learned a lot of my lesson’s from the women who came before me in my own family. My mother & my maternal Grandmother were both fiercely independent women, and when I say “fiercely” I don’t mean aggressively or ferociously, no not at all. What I mean is that both of them stood on their own two feet, always! For as long as I can remember both my mother & my grandmother worked hard, and not only earned their places in their communities, but earned their own incomes – always…Whilst being independent, they both were also wives, mothers, sisters, aunties, and friends. And life wasn’t always easy for either, both with completely different generational complexities to get through and yet all three of us (like all other women) constantly juggling life! So, I have realized that regardless of what generation we are, we are all trying to get the ‘balance’ of life as even as we can…
…and here I am today, also playing my juggling act! I am often asked “how do you do as much as you do?” or “Wow! I wasn’t expecting so much of your time today!”…well let me share a little secret with you, if you do what you love & are passionate about then it isn’t work, its joy!!
DO WHAT YOU LOVE…
Ok, so I have also juggled being a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, an aunty, and a friend, yet throughout my life I have always done one thing, and that one thing is that I have always done WHAT I LOVE! Is it still the same thing? Definitely not!! Not at all, not whatsoever, absolutely not!! It’s like planting a seed, at first you’re not sure if anything will happen, but you took that first step by just planting the seed, with nurturing & caring a tiny sprout appears, and begins reaching for the sky. Sometimes it looks a bit flat or sad, the leaves droop but with more care & attention it responds and shoots higher again! There are times when the leaves will change colour and begin to fall, or a storm will brew and blow cyclonic winds, or the heat of summer causes weakness & lethargy, and that’s ok, it’s part of the journey, remember that…and just like the little seed we started with, make sure you put all your attention into what you love, reflect on your experiences and eliminate those things in your life that just don’t give you any kind of passion, excitement or joy – for me that is housework! I’m quite happy to have someone do that for me! It doesn’t give me any motivation & definitely no satisfaction to spend my time doing housework! I’d much rather be in my clinic treating, or pottering in my garden, now that gives me complete motivation!!
So, take a moment to reflect on your life right now…what’s making you “buzz with excitement?” and just as importantly, what is making you feel flat & unmotivated?? It’s all about realizing that you don’t have to do it all! The other week, I treated a patient who was overwhelmed with her career, her family life (actually lack of family time), and running the day-to-day house duties. She came to see me to find some support & balance, as it was quite clear that she was bordering on exhaustion, her stress levels were through the roof, and sooner or later her health would take a turn for the worst! So, during this initial consultation I asked what she was passionate about, and what she wanted to achieve, she was quite clear. All she wanted was to come home and spend quality time with her children & partner, reading & cuddling her babies, enjoying a quiet meal with her partner, tucking her children into bed and not the time-ravishing routine of bathing, cooking & cleaning. Now, I love the magik of my craft, but I honestly cannot wave a wand and miraculously make everything perfect, but what I could do was start building on her by strengthening & soothing her mind, body & spirit. She loved running, so every morning she dedicated 30 minutes at 5am (before her partner left for the day) to exercise, running gives her motivation, it gives her clarity & by working on a high cardio type of exercise it also stimulates all the good hormones! I also explained that running can be used as a type of moving meditation! Yes!! It is definitely possible to use running in that way!! By focusing on her breath work, and the pounding of her feet on the earth, I showed her how to use this too for her own benefit! We both saw all this as small ‘wins’ and very achievable goals that could easily be met before her second consultation…
SELF-LOVIN’
I can hear you now, “what! I don’t have time for that!” Ummmmm, yes you do!!! And, yes you should!! In today’s world of social media, networking & technology in general, what I see often in my clinical practice is women constantly self-loathing, self-hating & self-judging! Women who believe that everyone is also judging them! Why do we put such criticism on ourselves?? The truth is, are your ready to hear it? The real truth is that we are all playing our own juggling acts! Yes! All of us are!!! Even at this stage in my own life, I am still juggling & that’s even with adult children!!
The one’s you see making everything look ‘easy’ are the ones who are totally focused on what they need in their lives, they are the ones who don’t take on the negative energies from both themselves & from others, they simply don’t allow that into their lives. Instead, they look after themselves first! Self-care, self-love & self-appreciation is on top of their list, and this then becomes what they have set out to achieve – doing what they love!
MOTHERHOOD 101
Women are amazing humans, wouldn’t you agree?? When the decision is made to start a family, women evolve into that next stage of life – that is becoming a Mum. Just the creation, growth & development of a new life in itself are absolutely amazing, let alone the immense love that our hearts expand with when this gift of new life enters our lives! It is truly an amazing experience. I find it very interesting how once this new life arrives, us women are often suddenly placed further and further down our priority list! Suddenly, we become 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th etc etc etc down the line. Our children, their lives, their sleep, their nutritional state is our number 1 focus! A dear friend once said to me ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and HALLALULAH wasn’t she correct! That’s exactly right, instead of trying to be everything to everyone & leaving nothing left for ourselves, we should be reaching out more and more! You do not have to take everything on board all of the time! Yes, it’s okay to hire a cleaner, or ask the au-pair to have the children bathed before you get home, or give your children the main meal of the day at lunch so that when you get home a light meal is all that is needed, get a yard person to maintain the lawns, whatever it is that you need help with – go and get it!
Now, this does not need to cost a lot either, did you know that many of the people in your life also have their own set of interests, interests that you might just need!! Next time you’re at a play group or catching up at a birthday party, or posting on insta, why not let people know what you need help with, or how you could help someone out? Perhaps you like cooking, maybe you could prep meals for a friend once or twice a week & in exchange a friend might be able to do your ironing? Just reach out and see what opportunities present themselves? This just might be the answer you’ve been looking for to help get your balance correct…because even if you are a mum, you are still the numero uno!
So here we are in 2021, and it seems the women of today are very similar to the women of previous generations, all be it with the very distinct differences of the generational times, and yet still trying to get the balance correct. In today’s modern world we seem to have a much broader set of rules & advice from all angles, certainly not from just within our own families, but the reality is, we each define our own lives, we just need to remember our own importance, and that as a woman of today we too matter & we too make a difference.
© Sharon Lindsay
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